Therapy session #1

 February, 8th, 2021

In my first telehealth visit with my new therapist, she filled me in on her methods, which include a workbook I have printed. I love homework, so this excited me. For our next visit, she asked me to choose one quotation from the workbook. Phew, this is hard! At our next session we will discuss the meaning I give the quote. This will help us identify next steps and specific goals to work on together. Here are the quotes I have to choose from: 

1. “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.” - Watty Piper - The Little Engine That Could

2. “Each of us is two selves, and the great challenge of life is to keep that higher self in command. “ - Martin Luther King , Jr. 

3. “Though the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.” - Helen Keller

4. “You are not responsible for being down, you are responsible for getting up. “ - Jesse Jackson

5. “No feeling is final. “ - Rainer Maria Rilke

6. “Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. “ - Molly Goode

7. “If we change within, our outer life will change also.” - Jean Shinoda Bolen

8. “Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake.” - Wallace Stevens

9. “Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got.” - Janis Joplin

10.  “And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.” - Erica Jong

11.  “Chapters of my life”

• Chapter 1: I walked down the sidewalk and fell into a deep hole. I couldn’t get out and I couldn't figure out why. It wasn’t my fault. It took a long time to get out.

• Chapter 2: I walked down the sidewalk and fell into the same hole again. I couldn’t understand. It wasn’t my fault. I really had to struggle to get out.

• Chapter 3: I walked down the sidewalk and fell into the same hole again. This time I understood why and it was my fault. This time it was easier to get out. 

• Chapter 4: I walked down the sidewalk and saw the same big hole. I walked around it. I didn’t fall into that hole. 

• Chapter 5: I chose another sidewalk. 

I think i’ll go with quote #11. This one made me smile as I read each chapter. I feel like this is a good representation of the stages of healing. And I believe I'm in Chapter 5 stage of my life. And it feels so good. I have been quite observant of myself in the last few months. And of other people too. I have begun to forgive my abusers and to forgive myself for the survival traits I picked up while enduring trauma. During this time of healing, I have been working on one of the most difficult tasks - Taking responsibility and holding accountability for the role I played in the parts of my life that led to adversity. This does not discount the toxic events that others caused in my life. We are not responsible for how other people feel. We are not always in control of what people do or say to hurt us. So with so many things in this world that are out of our control, it’s important that we take control of what we can. And that is OUR choices. Today, I chose to stop living the definition of insanity. If you don’t know what that is, It is the act of doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. Break the cycle. Take back your power. Listen to your heart, your soul and your intuition. Once you start making better choices for yourself, the door will open that you didn’t know was even there. Many of them. You will start to believe in yourself. Your daydreams will become real goals that you have confidence you are capable of achieving. 

“Sometimes i’m not me because of the parts of my brain that are broken. “ 

Broken things can be repaired. You have to literally want to be a different person. What you’ve been doing hasn’t been working. So step outside the box. Step outside your comfort zone. Analyze yourself, even if it brings pain. It’s so important for healing. 

Mahalo my friends. Until next time!

Peace. Love. Art.